*surance

When you are younger, you are uniqly individual and presciously concentrated into a singular expression of consciousness, and all that follows. When you get older you emerge in the reassurance that you are not.

When I was younger I felt completely alone most of the time and again isolated within that because there was no relief, or atleast very little (just enough to figure out that there was indeed some kind of alternative). I watched others around me excel and achieve and I didn't understand how they did it, but as I grow older I realize that I stand shoulder to shoulder with a great many others who were in the same situation as me, and I also have the comforting realization that of all the confusing indicision I had, I can nowsee vast swathes of people who made alternative decisions or made no decisions and the consequenses of their actions is becomming clear now, decisions I wasn't sure of at the time and realize now that they were neither right or wrong but ultimately led to a short run or long run to similar outcomes. Or in some cases, extremely negative outcomes.

Typing on an iPhone isn't condusive to clear communication...

In-divid(e)-uality

it seems to me that from what I have experienced, individuality is not respected or encouraged here in the US. Social reliance upon commercially mineable interaction within certain set rules of social engagement is, however. Dissent and alternative opinion are intrinsically ignored, feared and brokendown upon contact. Recent police activity and their following tribunals and investigations have come to terms with how much the police now over indulge in corrective action.
However, this is but a physical manifestation of an ugly behavioral trait of mass consciousness and the fear in with group thought nurtures.

EOM

reminder

i forget stuff now so this is a reminder for me
RD-1 purch may 02 07

School's out..

I finished the class I took in the Photographic Center North West (in Seattle), on a specific kind of social photography, and after ten weeks, I have not come away from it with a clearly defined new vision or path idea of an alternative possibility to the one I am currently languishing in. I know that there is the argument that life is what you make of it, but this is fuckin school we are talking about here, I paid money to be lead by the nose, to be given some definitive pointers and constructive criticism, but I walked wide-eyed into the airy-fairy world of American Education. A place of non discouragement, safe environments and positive encouragement, which seems to be the way for education as standard from what I gather.
I come from a different environment, where you are intersected from a more perpendicular rather than oblique or parallel angle. To be honest, the teachers approach really irritated me, especially because I knew him before I took his class. The guy is a very commercially successful photographer, and of course you will get that bent from him, which is fine, because thats ultimately what I wanted to use the class for. However I did not get the level of perceived intensity that this guy seemingly excels in in his everyday working life from the class. What I wanted was a set of instructions.
Im a grown up, I wanted to be treated like a grown up, I dont want to be in a class with university students who are in the class for a grade and subsequently drag the potency of potential down to a diluted level.
I paid good money which I saved hard to get, to do this too.